Are you a carer?





Please watch my short film, which includes families and carers reading from the letters they sent me.






If you're a carer and you'd like to send a letter in, you can post it to Tommy on Tour, 39 crosslee street glasgow g521sl. You can also email it to tommy@i-woz-there.com

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

Dementia Carer voices 2 year project with the ALLIANCE with funding from the Scottish Government




Dementia Carer Voices
Dementia Carer Voices, managed by the ALLIANCE, is a two year project funded by the Scottish Government which harnesses the work of Tommy Whitelaw and recognizes the importance of the carer voice, in informing future service provision and in empowering carers themselves.

In June 2011, as part of his ‘Tommy on Tour’ campaign, Tommy Whitelaw, a carer for his late Mum Joan, walked around Scotland’s towns and cities to raise awareness of the impact of dementia on families and the difficult but vital role played by carers. Since then, he has engaged with thousands of carers through twitter, his blog and frequent talks to health and social care professionals and carers organisations across Scotland, allowing him to collect hundreds of life stories from people which detail their experiences of caring for a loved one living with dementia. The letters demonstrate that carers of people with dementia often feel isolated and that there is insufficient recognition of the range of complex issues about which they are expected to have understanding, from legal to financial, to health and housing, as well as, cope with the distressing, social and emotional demands of caring.

As Project Officer with Dementia Carer Voices. Tommy continues to collect letters and stories and build on that work. The project aims to –

§  Capture the experiences of carers across Scotland with a view to informing future policy and service provision;
§  Empower carers by providing information based on the Charter of Rights and Carer Strategy about caring for someone with dementia;
§  Highlight the role of carers as natural resources; carers as people with needs;
§  Work with other carer organisations and key stakeholders to ensure that relevant strategies are well informed by the views of service users.

Outcomes
§  Establish a greater understanding of dementia and the carer journey among health and social care professionals;
§  Highlight the importance of family carers being enabled after diagnosis to build and sustain a network of support, preventing crisis situations and enabling carers to ask for additional help when it is needed;
§  Reduce isolation of carers of people with dementia;
§  Increase awareness of carer rights;
§  Gather information supporting family and person centered approaches to health and social care.

The project will achieve this through visits and talks by the Project Officer Tommy Whitelaw to Carer Organisations; the provision of written materials with key carer messages; dissemination of information including through social media; and films to raise awareness/understanding. A Dementia Carer Voices survey is presently in operation via the ALLIANCE website to collect key carer information which will be captured and published to raise further awareness of issues of importance to carers. Evaluation feedback from talks to carer organisations is also available on the web and indicates high levels of satisfaction particularly from health and social care students about hearing the carer voice first hand.



Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Speaking vale of leven hospital July 2nd and 9th nghsgg&c "getting to know me "



Hi

With great thanks to Con GIllespie lead nurse consultant accident emergency and acute services nhsgg&c for arranging and inviting me to speak atvale of leven hospital Alexaandria. On July 2nd and 9th as. Part of the roll out of  nghsgg&c "getting to know me " document and practise

I will be doing both talks to staff who works across all areas of the acute services .Con is very passionate about the "getting to know me " document and practise and has arranged a quite a few talks lately and in the near future for my to host

So thank you Con ,I look forward to speaking about caring for mum ,dementia the letters I receive and peolpe I have met on my campaign

You can get more details on "getting to know me " at the link below

Tommy

speaking at "getting to know me" - tommyontour

tommy-on-tour-2011.blogspot.com/.../speaking-about-getting-to-know-per...
Jun 10, 2013 – Getting to know the whole person, not just the patient and the illness, is the driving motivation behind a new, nationally developed resource to ...





Today Presentation to staff and management Sainsbury Prestwick a wee photo

Hi

I have been invited in partnership with south Ayrshire carer Center to do a presentation to area mangers and staff at sainsbury's  at the Prestwick  store on June 18th .with great thanks to David Roxborugh and the team at sainsbury's  for this opportunity to engage with management ,and staff and speak about caring for my wonderful mum ,the letters I receive and people I meet on my tour

There will be mangers and staff at the presentation and I hope we can roll this out across the country

Tommy

thank you to all the team at sainsbury Prestwick  for the opportunity today to speak to the team

Tommy

Monday, 17 June 2013

Friday speaking at nhsgg&c releasing time to carer event Hampden June 21st


 HI 
With great thanks to Kate Cocozza Lead Nurse Clinical Practice Development nhsgg&c Victoria Infirmary for inviting me to speak at releasing time to care event on June 21st
Releasing time to care is a programme designed to help NHS staff design and spend more time with people whilst in hospital   

The event is to look of the programme and how effective it  has and  can be .I have been asked to speak as a son on how I feel time matters



Releasing Time to Care
“Celebrating Success …. Appreciating Improvement”

This event provides an exciting opportunity for a range of Senior Charge Nurses/Midwives/Team Leaders across NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde to present aspects of their Releasing Time to Care journey showcasing improvements and successes that they, and their teams, have achieved along the way.

In addition to a keynote address from the Chief Executive, there will be an interactive panel discussion and an opportunity to contribute to the sustainability and future direction of RTC in NHSGGC.

The event is aimed at directors, senior managers, nurses, healthcare support workers and Allied Healthcare Professionals and will ultimately raise awareness of how RTC can assist motivated teams to work together to improve the quality of care/services and subsequently improve the care experience for staff, patients, carers and families.

Tommy Whitelaw
Dementia Carers Voices

Thursday Presentation to Royal College Nursing Scotland board

Hi


With thanks to Dr Deborah McCraw from the Royal College Nursing Scotland for inviting me to do a presentation to the board in Edinburgh on June 20th

My passion is to raise awareness across the care sector and to universities ,colleges and schools .I look forward. To meeting the board and speaking about caring for my magnificent mum ,the life stories I receive and people I have met on my tour

I hope this presentation leads to opportunities to speak to nurses and nursing students connected with the Royal College of Nursing

you can get more information on the work they do at the link below

http://www.rcn.org.uk/aboutus/scotland

Tommy

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Fathers Day - my dad Thomas

Hi

This blog and campaign has my mum at the very heart and soul of it .and as much though does not define my mum , anything but, was her journey with dementia, a journey that broke my heart

My mums heart was surely broken many years back when my dad passed away ,my wonderful dad Thomas .I have often said what is crueller to die of a broken heart or not remember the reason your heart was broken
Now there was a love story .They where the best of parents and best of friends,I am sad but smiling typing this as I think of dad ,he was loyal hard working a true and honest man , a welder by trade , funny respectful and just the best of dads

Like mum children always  came first ,although as kids we used to get upset when asking who do you love the most ? Mum would always smile and say "oh my children " but dad  always said " I love my children and I am proud of you but this woman, I met her one day  and fell in love and have loved her every day since "  and boy did he lover her

My dad was diagnosed with cancer many years back and on the day of the the diagnosis mum and him where sitting with the doctor as the news was broke that  he had less than a year to live .my mum fell to the floor in tears, as dad tried to pick her up the doctor said mr whitelaw do you understand what I have just said ,to which my dad replied, yes I do doctor but my wife is upset and I need to make sure she is ok ,not much I can do about the news but I can make sure Joan is ok

This wonderful man as always had been was so brave for the remaining  9 months of his life making sure we where all ok and that mum would be ok after he's was gone, preparing us in a way  that was only noticed after he was gone ,no fuss, no fear  I truly found out what courage and love meant over those last months .in quieter moments if we had a chat ,asking how he felt  he always just said ,make sure your mum is ok just make sure my Joan is ok don't worry for me son make sure mum is ok

I miss my dad so much ,often during the hardest days as mum became more ill ,I would always say to myself when struggling  if dad was here he would make it  better for mum he make if better for me

My dad always used to say how lucky he was to have met mum and at family patties used to sing to mum either " and I love you you so " or " for the good times" so as I sit thinking of dad on Father's Day I say how lucky I was to be his son , how I Loved him so and those truly where not just the good times but the best of times 

I was was a lucky boy to be Thomas and Joan's son















Saturday, 15 June 2013

The kindness of people-most of whom I have never met, thank you


Dementia and caring brings many struggles and of course moments of joy, love and inspiration. My mum inspired me many times and amazingly at the most crucial moments when I was really struggling to cope and understand. That kind of sums it up, there is my wee mum facing all that dementia brought and over the last months nearing end of life, but always able to comfort her son and get him through it.

 As a campaigner I am trying to raise awareness, understanding and empower people to help prevent families reaching crisis situations. All too often on our journey we were lost, lonely and isolated but looking back my heart can sometime smile and this is thanks to the kindness of the special people we dealt with.

Like the District Nurse who put her arm around me one day when I was in tears and said “You’re doing ok Tom you’re doing ok.” I can’t tell you how much I needed someone to do that as I was scared of what was happening and scared of letting my mum down.

Or the Nurse who was involved in the last months of my mums life when she could no longer swallow and had been in hospital for a few days. On her returning home I was struggling to get my mum to eat or take fluids and the nurse said call me if you have any problems, so I did and she took the time to pass by after work to sit down to show me again what to do, holding mum’s hand and putting us both at ease.

There is an important lesson here, its people who change lives through their help, kindness and understanding and it is important to celebrate this so that others can take notice and follow.  A big part of my talks is celebrating the people who made our experience better, even if was just for a day. Then there are the amazing carers and families who I have met out and about or online on Twitter or Facebook who have shared their life stories and are the inspiration behind my campaign.

Over and above policies, strategies or reports it’s people who have the potential to transform people’s lives throughout what can be a very difficult and lonely journey. I still smile to think of the special people who helped me and the thousands out there helping others in the same manner, most of whom I have never met.

Tommy





People change lives, listening and understanding.Workingtogether and never forgetting the person.


It ispeople who change lives, listening and understanding.   Working together and never forgetting theperson.

After my walk round Scottish towns and cities I was contacted by a family who asked me to come and collect their story in person, as their story about their mum was taking its toll on all.
I got the train through one day to collect and hear their story. One member of the family was strong so tense with all that had happened and the other was broken,head and shoulders down and eyes full of heartbreak and tears.

I witnessed the impact this was having and had on both of those people. At different times and days whilst caring for my mum. I WAS BOTH  of those sisters ,sometime in the same say ,angry ,agitiated ,strong ,brokenhearted  Their story was tragic, a family trying to care and get the best for a mum they loved.  With a dining table full of correspondencea bout their mum, her care, life and struggle  full of missunderstandings and lack of understanding.
I left the house that day wondering how does this happen how can this be a ,few months later Iwas taking my letters to the Scottish Parliament to meet with the then CabinetSecretary for Health Nicola Sturgeon, who I have to say has given this campaign and life stories the greatest respect.

A week before going to Parliament I received another letter from this family and It was glorious, but how can this be, same family a mother facing this challenge of dementia, what had changed? .  The answer was a person, a new consultant who took the time to be involved in all aspects of this journey, who listened, discussed, advised and gave this family the chance to do the thing they wanted to spend their time loving and cherishing their mum and for their mums whole life to be given the respect and dignity and help deserved.

No longer written off, no longer a strain on services, no longer just a woman with dementia but mother who was many great things to many people.  Same services same help but in the hands of an understanding person and we should celebrate Consultants, Doctors,Nurses, Social Workers and anyone involved in our care who like this consultant took time added value and gave the best of advice and chance.  If we celebrate them then this will encourage others to follow as it is PEOPLE who change lives.

I remember the ones who helped us through this and  that makes my heart smile. I also remember the ones who had no desire or care and they add to the pain of the struggle we faced.

Tommy  



Meeting Cab Secretary for health Alex Neil September 1st to update on Dementia Carer Voices

Hi

My next meeting with Cabinet Secretary for health will be on Spetember 1st  the dementia Carer voices project based on my tommyontour campaign has a commitment to report to and meet with the Goverment 3times yearly
Along with my mentor and friend on this project Irene Oldfather we will be going through to St Andrews house on September 1st to meet ,discuss and update on the projects. And voices of families caring for a loved on with Alex Neil and civil servants who work on mental health

I look forward to atteneding and I am grateful for the on- going interest and interaction from and with  the Scottish Goverment

You can help with our reports and discussions by sending your thoughts ,experiences and opinions to tommy@i-woz-there.com


How do you mend a broken heart…Dementia, my mum and me.


Hi 

Dementia alone will eventually break your heart; it most certainly has broken mine.  I have had my heart broken before, but not like this.  My kind caring wee mum whose ability to care for everyone she met was an inspiration, no one deserves this cruel illness.

My heart was not broken only since mum passed away but had been for long time and no matter what dementia threw at my mum or how many tears I cried as her son, it felt to hard. My mum was facing so much more than me, she could make it better with a smile, a stroke of the hand and the greatest of all a smile from her eyes as if to say you are doing ok son.

Sitting here today with more time to think than I had before just confirms that we were never really ok; we were stumbling and falling together. People say “oh you cared for your mum” but that is only half of it mum was still caring for her son, you see that’s what she done she gave all she met the best, looking for nothing in return.  My mum’s journey with this illness is over but I am left with a heart that is so sad inside.

My wee mum like so many others deserved a bit better and better more than I was able to give.  So I will take a leaf from my mums book and answer the question I asked at the top of this page how do you mend a broken heart? All who are facing this illness or in the future I hope will be treated with understanding, kindness, dignity, respect and given the best of help and advice.  I hope anyone who ever needs help asks as quickly as possible and if the person they meet at home, residential care or in a hospital has even just a hundredth of the kindness like my mum.  If so they will be in very safe hands as I was all my life and even Dementia could not take that away.

Tommy.



Letters & Life stories ,A letter helped me understand


Life stories why I collect and believe in them…


 a letter that changed my life; our stories can bring help and understanding to others.

This campaign is based on the life stories, thoughts and opinions of people and there are a few reasons why I collect and believe in them. The stories collected to date have played a huge part in the awareness dialogue with Goverment , Local Government Authorities including motions at councils and reports by SW departments, where they have been the heart and soul of many talks across the care sector, Universities/ colleges, carer centres and beyond. I am now working on an Academic paper and a new Carer Engagement Film, all of which I feel are important in their own way to  help raise awareness and understand the life of someone with Dementia and their carer leads.

All of the above is based on our lives in our own words and more importantly I collect life stories because our lives matter.  My mum like too many others was to often viewed upon as just a wee woman with dementia and all that she had gone through before had been forgotten and ignored. The greatness of her life was given to little value, time or discussion and that fills me with great sadness.  If we use only dementia as a starting point then we cant truly help and understand the best way to interact, encourage and allow people dignity they deserve.  So I hope life stories can help tell the whole story and show the impact dementia has on many people lives, if we understand the impact then we recognize how to limit it and give families the best support to love, cherish and succeed.

A letter made me understand 

My personal reason for collecting letters and life stories is the fact one letter changed my life….  Before coming back to Glasgow to visit my mum, a visit that ended with my mums diagnosis of dementia and the beginning of a five year struggle to understand and cope, my then long term girlfriend and I had just split in fact I was coming home for mum to put her arms round me as she had done so many times before and made things better. But for the first time I had to truly put my arms round mum as she was in more need of help and support than I was. Both my girlfriend and I travelled constantly with our work and for the last years together and in so many ways my girlfriend tried to tell me how things had to change as we were getting older and never spent any time together, along with settling down and children. The more she tried to discuss our future the less I heard, the more she shouted even in the most intimate of discussions the less I heard. I always seemed to avoid a discussion after all I was happy traveling ,having a great time and used the same excuse, I am just home or I when I get home in 3 months we will fix things .

I got away with this for too long and on my last journey away I was going to America for 3 months I opened my suitcase on arrival and inside found a letter, a letter that broke my heart but that showed the impact of my actions, my inability to listen and selfishness was having on someone’s life. Someone I loved, who gave me so many chances and tried in so many others ways to ask me to just listen or try and understand. On reading that letter I understood more about myself than I had done before and she was right I was affecting and holding back her chance to live the best life she could.

So if a letter can change my life, then maybe it can for many people with Dementia and there carers, which is my personal reason for collecting and believing in them. I hope to take them to whomever needs to read them in order to help people understand how the actions of others can have such and impact on people’s lives and the actions of others can also change lives for the better, to truly help someone you have to take time to listen and understand.
You can share your story at tommy@i-woz-there.com


Friday, 14 June 2013

Speaking London Royal Free Hospital July 3rd



Hi 

With great thank to Jennifer Kenward ,Patient Experience Manage ,Royal Free hospital London  for inviting me to speak to staff whilst in London to speak at the NHS England education conference .I had a free night before the conference and Jennifer kindly answered my plea for somewhere on the evening of the 3rd to raise awareness 

I look forward to both meeting and speaking to staff about caring for mum ,the letters I relieve and people I have  met on my tour 

Than you Jennifer and all the team for the opportunity and kindness 

Tommy 

Jen

Jenny Kenward
Patient Experience Manager
Royal Free London NHS Foundation Trust
 

Today launching “it’s ok to ask “carer engagement film




Hi

The new carer engagement film I am in  is ready, we will be launching  today June 13th at a city centre venue
The film is based in part  on my own experiences caring for my wee mum and many of the letters I receive .For me it’s of the greatest importance that we get families the correct and quickest support As a campaigner I am trying to engage with Government ,local authorities ,health boards to see what more can be done but also to promote services and support available to families.in My opinion  it’s a tragedy not to be aware of and on many occasions know who or how to ask for help ,this can often lead to crisis

I took the idea and script to NHSgg&c-chp lead Peter Daniels who took time to read some of the letters I receive and chat about people I have on buses, supermarkets on the streets and I am happy and grateful for his time and support to make this film .the film will go in a booklet to GPs across Glasgow and be used on partners websites .I also hope to do some public road shows to reach out to people and help inform them of the support available    

With thanks to NHSgg&c especially Peter Daniels and Jill Carson and the ALLAINCE Scotland for partnering to make this film possible and last but by no means least the courage’s carers who took time to tell their story of how when supports is put in place at the right time and with the right manner the difference than can be made

The launch will be June 13th 1 pm please see more details at link below