My wee mum is doing better and I hope to get her home by Friday

Hi  

Just back from the evening visit and my wee mum was looking better ,I cant tyou ell how much of a relief that is .They might give my mum  a small blood transfusion in the morning depending on the hemoglobin results over the last  three days.They are monitoring new medication that is health related and  not dementia  and I hope we can get her home .As much as I am grateful for the attention of the doctors and nurses on the ward who have been great over the last couple of days ,being in hospital much longer  is not good for my mum as there is too much going on and she gets a wee bit frightened and more confused but the main thing they check everything while my mum is there ,the other obvious thing to me is that the dynamics of my mums care needs will have changed when she gets home as its been a tough experience and my mum after being unwell for so many years never quite recovers ,As we always do we will try our best to adapt and get through whatever lyes  ahead .I hope I sleep tonight its been an uneasy few days after the fright we got along with my mum not here and worrying how she is coping in a strange environment

Thank you to all the amazing people out there for the kind messages, its greatly appreciated from this son and carer

Thank you

Tommy

Attending Launch of BletherBox dementia online forum

I have been invited to attend the launch of BletherBox with a view to some involvment on August 27th

you can get info and links below

tommy

BletherBox is a newly established online forum designed to provide a safe place for those living with dementia, carers and professionals to share information, seek advice and find support. The forum is a Scottish-orientated community that encompasses Scottish legislation and health care policies.

The vision for BletherBox is that it belongs to the community.  The forum is now ready for roll-out with a view to bringing those with dementia, carers and professionals together.

 BletherBox is now available for your perusal and, as it is a community-centred forum, we would welcome any suggestions that you may have for improvement.

Leigh-Ann Whyte

founder@bletherbox.org.uk

 twitter.com/bletherbox1

    facebook.com/blether.box

5 years today, I have cared for my mum, this weekend has been the toughest to bare …..

Hi  

Well it was August 13^th 20007 I returned home to visit my mum and our lives changed forever that day. As I mentioned before I was in the middle of witting a year by year summery for my blog for toady, to mark the 5^th year .With my mum being taken in to hospital on Friday the dynamics of our life has changed once again, We have faced many emotions over the last 5 years from heartbreak to Joy and many times all in one day. This weekend has been a struggle,I got such a shock on Friday when my mum took unwell and have not quite recovered yet. But the bigger issue on my mind  on visiting my mum as has happened so often before is  how my mum recovers that matters and is of the greatest concern .As a son who has been by my mums side I know she will not recover to how she was on Thursday never mind how she was 5 years ago. At each crucial point on this journey my mum has faced big dips in her health, awareness, and abilities to mention but a few .and more than anyone I know how she will struggle this time to recover once again .the painful loneliness that life caring for loved one brings has been increased beyond belief this weakened, I feel helpless and just want my wee mum home to her house with her Son

I would like to thank the Ambulance crew for all they done on Friday and the nurses for taking time last night to talk to me about my mum ,her needs and her life

Tommy  

Tomorrow will be 5 years to the day since I came home to visit my mum and our lives change forever

Hi

August 13^th 2007 was the day I returned home to Scotland to visit my mum and our lives changed forever, A few days ago I started trying to write about that day and the 5 years since and all we have been through ,With my mum being taken into hospital on Friday and being very unwell . it has  been more  difficult than usual to think clearly ,Thinking clearly at the best of times while witnessing your mum succumb to all that dementia brings and trying to care 24/7 is a difficult task but I will write this when my mum gets home to her house with her son .I  cry a lot these days but never as much as the last couple ,I don’t know what to do sitting here alone at home when my mum needs me.We build routines  that get us both through each hour and day and all I can think of is someone reassuring my mum ,is she scared ,is she thirsty ,is she ok ,even last night I got up 4 times  in the middle of the night to look in her room to check on her ,but she was not there So I will write about our 5 year journey to date soon ,I just want to get my wee mum home first and make sure all of the above questions I ask myself   are questions I can help with and be by her side to try and answer

Tommy

Just back from visiting my mum and I just want to bring her home

Hi  

The last few years have brought many things to out lives and far to much sadness, I can’t remember ever feeling as sad as I felt walking out of the hospital tonight. To walk in and see my wee mum lying lost and alone in a position that is alien to her and me was not the best start my mum has changed wards since today and my hints and tips on my mums needs must have been left there, anyway I got my mum sat and propped up and was told she was not eating today so mashed up a banana then another and two cookies later she was looking better ,but its all changed ,as has happened to often through this Journey with dementia, big changes come at a pace and I know in my heart how we where before my mums seizure last night will not be returned to and as I sat there she would not let my hand go or take her eyes of me and I just want to bring her home to her own house to her own room to her own bed and to her son and keep her loved and safe but its not that simple ,I have learnt from my mums eyes over the last years how well she feels or is and feel uncomfortable with what her eyes told me tonight ,so I go to bed in this quiet lonely house and cant wait to get back over and see my brave wee mum

Goodnight

Tommy  

Just back from the hospital and my wee mum is settled and stable

Hi  

Well it’s the morning after the night before and it was an uneasy night to say the least .i was down at the hospital this early  morning and would like to thank the nurses for letting me sit for a wee while to comfort my mum and probably me, as apart from the few hours I go out each week for my awareness campaign its been pretty much just me and my mum at home alone for the last 4-5 years .They are monitoring my mum at the moment as  her levels are dropping and rising and are looking at all the medication she is on to find out what the cause is and  have said it will be at least 4-5 das she has to stay in. As much as I know she is in the best place at this time I am worried about how she will be as she gets fearful if I am not around  and we have so many routines  each day and night to keep my mum as comfy we can ,I have left the nurse a long list of things I do each day and  hope they understand why.To see my mum outside this house and her room it really hit me today how frail she is .As  I left today my we mum who has barley said a word in months and has not mentioned my dad in years asked me to do the one thing that I cant ,she said get your dad and those three words sit heavy on my heart as I type this blog  because I truly wish I could and i just want my wee mum home in her house with her son

 thank you for all the kind messages recieved since last night ,thank you

Tommy

My wee mum was rushed into hospital tonight and IV never felt so helpless or lonely in my life

i  

My wee mum was rushed to hospital tonight after taking a seizure and through  this journey iv never felt so helpless, lost and scared and I have been all them  many time over the last four years .I called the doctor out this afternoon as I was becoming concerned about she was and was told, she is ok its how the dementia is affecting her at this stage, I should have been stronger as I have spent every day and night caring for my mum over the last years but I was just  happy to be told she was ok even though in my heart I felt something had changed after my mums bath I got her comfy and was making her a wee cup of tea and  as I walked to her room she was having a seizure and it was dreadful to see the fear in my mums  eyes and feel so unprepared and helpless I called an ambulance and I am thankful for their speed ,calmness and professionalism as I was falling apart and every  emotion I have felt over the years was multiplied beyond description ,we got to the hospital and they acted swiftly and have got my mum comfy and stable and are monitoring her to find the cause ,and I am happy to say she is doing better at this point although she will be staying in to find out what exactly happened ,I cant describe how I felt leaving that hospital tonight without bringing my mum home  and this house that feels so lonely so often has never felt as lonely as it does Just now .There are so many questions in my head about me about my mum about all that  has happened that I will not sleep tonight and miss her smile and being here .but she is comfortable and has color back in her cheeks and is as settled as can be . and I just want to get her home to her house with her son as soon as possible ,I am  lost without my wee best pal my wonderful wee mum and will be up first thing to see and comfort her .i have to say thanks  to the doctors and nurses who listened in great detail about all my mums needs and how best to make her understand ,maybe if the doctor listened to my opinion at home  today instead of  just telling me hers  then this may well have been avoided .I go to bed with a lonely tearful heart and send  thanks to my cousin Agnes and her daughter Tracy for coming to the hospital to comfort and sit with me and take some of the loneliness and helplessness away  

Tommy

Last Night Inspired by the people at my talk at Allsa Hospital Croy Day Hospital the memories of childhood holidays

Hi 

I am just home from doing a wee talk and meeting carers and families who attend   and receive services from Ailsa Hospital Croy Day Hospital  with great thanks to June for inviting me and the inspiring  kind people who attended .once again we had a mixture of circumstances and emotions people who like me are currently caring ,some who have loved ones in residential care and some whose loved one have passed  away ,all of us connected by this illness Dementia, all facing similar struggles and emotions even though  we are at different parts of the Journey Dementia brings.It was

a strange start for me, this was only the 9^th time I have left my house at night over the last well nearly 3 years ,the other 8 occasions where also for talks, all of my other awareness  meetings,

or work has taken place in the day time .I felt quite uncomfortable on the hour long train Journey there, almost telling myself ,I should not be out in the evening  this was accompanied by some loneliness and sadness as the train travelled down the coastline and memoires of childhood holidays with my mum and dad came flooding back .As I sat there thinking about life I almost broke down thinking back to those days along with  the realization that my mum will never see that coastline or any other for that matter again ,as she grows weaker by the day and is  mostly  confined to bed or at best the chair in her room ,but meeting the amazing people tonight to share my campaign and hear their experiences  ensured that my journey home would leave me feeling less alone and more inspired to keep going ,to keep raising awareness and keep the loneliness at bay

So along with thanking them for attending I want to thank them for inspiring me .in fact on the train home I wished I had sent my self a postcard

Down by the sea, having a lovely time, with lovely people, wish you where here, I for one am glad I was, thank you the campaign continues see you soon and thank you for the kindess shown and the letters

Tommy

My motion passed Glasgow City Council, can you help with thoughts, ideas opinions

Hi

Back in February I took letters I received and reports to Glasgow City Council and had a cross party motion passed

 At the end of August the cross party group will start work on all below

I will be taking more thoughts and opinions to represent carers and families like mine ,I hope you can help me make this all it can be my sending me any thoughts and opinions you may have in order to help others have and get the best help and support  available

You can e mail me direct at tommy@i-woz-there.com

 Please don’t let this opportunity go to waste please get involved, if you want to know why its important come and spend a day with me after 5 years of caring for a mum suffering with dementia and me as a son suffering to witness

 MOTION-------Council recognizes the inspirational efforts of Tommy Whitelaw in raising awareness of the issues effecting the carers and families of people suffering from Dementia through his “Tommy on Tour” campaign  Council agrees to set-up a Cross Party Working Group to engage with carers and to ensure that the services provided to carers are appropriate to the needs of the carers and those suffering from Dementia and that the Working Group’s findings be presented by Council to the Scottish Government.

This evening speaking at Ailsa Hospital Croy Day Hospital, this will be my 9th time out my house at night in nearly 3 years

Hi

I have been invited by June McMillan to speak at a carers group at Ailsa Hospital Croy Day Hospital Ayr this evening and I look forward to meeting fellow carers and families and for the opportunity to talk about my life cat=ring for my mum and the letters I .receive excluding my walk round Scottish towns and cities last year this will be only the 9^th time I have left my house at night over the last 3 years. I have attended and been a guest speaker at many meeting and events over the last year but always during the day time, the other 8 occasions I have left my house at night was to speak at events .Sound familiar, then you must be lone carer like me

Tommy   

Tommyontour film up on NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde’s site lets get others to follow

Hi

Good Afternoon  

With thanks to Dan
iel Connelly and all NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde’s for putting my film, story and awareness campaign up on their website under a carers experience and journey, you can view the film and story at the link below Tommy’s info and link to his film on the following page:
http://www.nhsggc.org.uk/content/default.asp?page=s1476_1
Tommy
can we get others to follow ?