Sunday, 16 June 2013

Fathers Day - my dad Thomas


This blog and campaign has my mum at the very heart and soul of it .and as much though does not define my mum , anything but, was her journey with dementia, a journey that broke my heart

My mums heart was surely broken many years back when my dad passed away ,my wonderful dad Thomas .I have often said what is crueller to die of a broken heart or not remember the reason your heart was broken
Now there was a love story .They where the best of parents and best of friends,I am sad but smiling typing this as I think of dad ,he was loyal hard working a true and honest man , a welder by trade , funny respectful and just the best of dads

Like mum children always  came first ,although as kids we used to get upset when asking who do you love the most ? Mum would always smile and say "oh my children " but dad  always said " I love my children and I am proud of you but this woman, I met her one day  and fell in love and have loved her every day since "  and boy did he lover her

My dad was diagnosed with cancer many years back and on the day of the the diagnosis mum and him where sitting with the doctor as the news was broke that  he had less than a year to live .my mum fell to the floor in tears, as dad tried to pick her up the doctor said mr whitelaw do you understand what I have just said ,to which my dad replied, yes I do doctor but my wife is upset and I need to make sure she is ok ,not much I can do about the news but I can make sure Joan is ok

This wonderful man as always had been was so brave for the remaining  9 months of his life making sure we where all ok and that mum would be ok after he's was gone, preparing us in a way  that was only noticed after he was gone ,no fuss, no fear  I truly found out what courage and love meant over those last months .in quieter moments if we had a chat ,asking how he felt  he always just said ,make sure your mum is ok just make sure my Joan is ok don't worry for me son make sure mum is ok

I miss my dad so much ,often during the hardest days as mum became more ill ,I would always say to myself when struggling  if dad was here he would make it  better for mum he make if better for me

My dad always used to say how lucky he was to have met mum and at family patties used to sing to mum either " and I love you you so " or " for the good times" so as I sit thinking of dad on Father's Day I say how lucky I was to be his son , how I Loved him so and those truly where not just the good times but the best of times 

I was was a lucky boy to be Thomas and Joan's son

1 comment:

  1. Tommy, as much as I admire your campaign for awareness, I love even more hearing about your love for your mum and now your love for your dad too. I was at one of the talks you did at GCU with the student nurses and it was such a pleasure to hear you speak with such fondness and love for your parents. Much love to you.



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