Good days,sad days,good days,bad days for the love of mum

Good days –sad days –good days and bad days

It’s  February 22^nd .I cam home tonight to an empty house and its 5 months to the day since mum passed away  Much like when caring for my mum we had good days and days we struggled ,but we struggled together and mum always seemed to get us through with a smile and sometimes she was so weak but that smile came  from  her eyes .ITS 10 PM  and I think I started crying around 5 and it feels like it may never stop and that is the theme good days and sad days .there was much struggle  and fear towards the end but my wee mum always managed to get us both through and give me strength when I had none, I mean how remarkable is that with all she faced she gave her son strength and she still does I was privileged over the last week to share my mums story with some remarkable students and some amazing lecturers one of who in particular Andy who has become a friend and those students have given we Joan her life story a story that was ignored and forgotten by to many involved in our care    

I finished my talk last week with a brief outline of mums life and saying you now know more about mum’s life than most people involved in her care  over the last 5 years ,as no one ever asked .How true that feels tonight ,the response has been inspiring the detail in the response from the students via ,e mail ,twitter ,Facebook and poetry has  proved that true ,they really do understand and know more about mums life than most we met and I feel they took her into their hearts and that’s such a shame for the ones when mum was here who saw only dementia .these fine  students took a mums story to heart, others had the chance to take the person

So my tears tonight are a mixture of sadness and joy ,sad because I miss my mum and for the ones who met but  missed her life story and joy that some people who never met her took time to listen and understand

Thank you Caledonian university your kindness and understanding has inspired me and made some of my tears tonight ,tears of hope

thank you team GCU 

Tommy   

Poem for MUM ,Thank You Abby for inspiring a Son #kindness

I had the privilege of speaking to mental health students at Caledonian  university last week .I have been both inspired and in tears at the response by email twitter and this poem 


THANK YOU 1st and 3rd year mental health studetns


thank you all for inspiring a son who cared for his mum 

a peom from Abby

Tommy are you listening, i cant say i understand, But i am here, and i am willing, so penny for your thoughts?
C'mon Tommy, pick yourself up theres no time for feeling down, Your doin ok, and you shouldn't worry, Your doing your ol' ma proud.
The small things your doin everyday,
are brining hope to peoples lives,
so when your feeling down and in doubt,
just keep that in your mind

The things that you's faced, all on your own Send a shiver right up my spine, And i gotta tell you one more time, Mate, your doing fine.
You told us stories about your ma,
And God she sounds like a doll,
A hardworking lady who loved her kids,
And was madly deeply in love.

Tommy i know cause you told us so,
The way the story goes,
The newspaper clippings and scribbled writings, To remind her who she was.
That hardworking lady cant remember a thing, even the man she loved so true, But no 'what ifs' Tommy cause your ol' ma, is living and shinning through you.

We have let you down, and your ma,
and that makes me hell of a sad,
But Tommy you have spoken to me,
And i will do all i can.

Tommy your the voice, for all those like you, who have also been let down, A voice of justice, a voice of reason, That together can shout so loud.
You struck a chord in me that day,
And inspired me in so many ways,
Dont let the bastards get you down Tommy, Cause i promise your doing great.
That wedding dress that Joan made,
Oh Tommy it was a beauty!
so you get out there
And never give up,
And share with the world,
Joan and Your Story!

Abby

“ It’s OK to ask” carer engagement film start filming mid-march (with thanks to NHSgg&c-CHP)

HI

I had a meeting yesterday with  NHSgg&c – CHP, Partners and some service providers to finalize the outline for  my idea for a carer engagement film “It’s OK to ask

So we have agreed to story board and start filming mid-March .This film I hope play a small part in helping bring more understanding on the carer role and help families get the help that is available to them .As a son looking back I feel sad that it took near crisis before help was appropriated or I found the strength to ask

This will not be a Tommyontour as such but I will do the narrative from the heart ,and hope its helps someone out there access help quicker the we did

Thank you to NHS gg&c in Particular Peter Daniels and Jill Carson for taking time to meet with .listen to and discuss caring with a son over the last year        

Tommy Whitelaw
Dementia Carers Voices

Today meeting GCC dementia working group as per my motion past at City council

Today  I will be attending the Glasgow City Council dementia working group set up per my motion passed last February I am part of a cross party steering group set up to look at dementia and carting for someone with dementia. This is our third meeting since the motion was passed and I hope the pace aims and outcomes plan will be discussed and defined at tomorrow’s meeting     

You can help with this by sending your thoughts ,opinions’ or life story to add to the ones received that where the basis heart and soul of the forming of this group  

You can send to tommy|@i-woz-there.com

MOTION

Council recognises the inspirational efforts of Tommy Whitelaw in raising awareness of the issues effecting the carers and families of people suffering from Dementia through his “Tommy on Tour” campaign

Council agrees to set-up a Cross Party Working Group to engage with carers and to ensure that the services provided to carers are appropriate to the needs of the carers and those suffering from Dementia and that the Working Group’s findings be presented by Council to the Scottish Government.

Moved by

Councillor John Flanagan

Seconded by

Councillor David McDonald

March 5th Speaking to Nurses involved in mums end of life care Might be the toughest talk of all

Hi

I have been invited to do a talk to the nurses and staff  involved and who cared for my mum  over the last months of her life. My mum was very rarely in hospital of the 5 years I cared for her .my mum sadly passed away on September 22^nd and between early August and then mum was admitted 3 times.Each time for a week with different health issues  and passed away on the third admission .So I am grateful to NHSGG*C for inviting me to do a talk about life caring for mum ,the life stories and people I have met on my tour. to staff on the 3 wards mum was admitted to including A&E. This talk will also include our experiences over the times mum was admitted followed by Q&A session

My campaign is based on talking about life caring for mum ,her life, her greatness the letters ,the life stories ,the amazing families I have met, but at the back of my mind I cant help feeling this just might be the toughest talk of All

I met yesterday with the ward managers and we have agreed the talk will be on March 5th 

Tommy       

Today meeting NHSGG&C CHP “ITS OK TO ASK “ a new carer engagement film

Hi

Today  I have a meeting to finalize  the plans and storyboard for a new carer engagement film “its OK to ask" ,I will be meeting with NHSGG&C CHP ,The ALLAINCE ,Enterprise Screen and  members of a steering group put together for this project .As mentioned before this will not be a Tommyontour film as such but I will be volunteering my time as son who cared for hi mum .the essence of this film is to highlight the carer role and services available to families

As a son and would be awareness campaigner I try to highlight issues and promote good work being done across the care and voluntary sectors .For me no one should have to do this alone .I tried and almost failed. for me  it is a tragedy not to know about help that is available and HOPE this new film. Booklet and road shows  help  reach out to carers and bring more understanding to people involved  in our care and lives

 No one should reach a crisis before getting help and for the message is “its ok to ask “

Tommy    

Thank you 1st &3rd year Mental Health Students Caledonian University # Inspired #photo

A big thank you to all the 1^st year mental health students who attended my wee  talk today at the University .As a son trying to raise awareness I am grateful for opportunities like this. I was inspired by the students today and hope my talk was in some way a help.Also thank you Andy ,Lesley and Jackie (teamgcu)

Thank you for today for the kind messages  questions ,for caring and I wish you all the best  on all you’re future endeavours  #inspired #thankyou ‘gcucarervoice

Thank you

Tommy

A big thank you also to the 3^rd year students that I spoke with last week for the lovely card and comments left for me to collect at today event ,THANK YOU  for the lindness

Thank you 

Today Speaking 1ST Yr Mental Health Students Caledonian University

Hi

Today  I have the privilege of speaking to 1^ST tear mental health students at Caledonian university .last week I was a guest speaker there to 3^rd year mental health students and on March 12^th I will be back to speak to 500 nursing students. I am grateful for these  opportunities to speak about life caring for my mum ,dementia .the life stories and families I have met on my awareness tour /campaign and hope in some small way it helps both raise awareness and understanding   

A big thank you to the University   in Particular Andy Lowndes .Lesley McNab, Margaret Caldwell Jackie Gillespie and the students who attend this great University       

Tommy

How I wish you where here mum............

How I wish you where here mum

As a young lad, one day I grew up and left home a home with great parents, memories and support, to go out and explore the world .When that day comes the kindness and support from your parents is the building block to all that lays ahead .and I travelled pretty much 10 months of the year with my work  ,but always kept in touch hardly a day went by without  a call even the briefest of call to make sure all was ok at home and sometime maybe more than I care to remember for support and to take away the loneliness travelling can bring. and I was lucky  I had good relationships that mainly my job added to possibly me got in the way off .both my parents where hard working kind ,honest and decent ,who gave all to their children .And then one day you come home to visit mum ,who by this time was on her own as dad had passed away a few years before and everything had changed ,my hard working wee mum was in the beginnings of dementia ,confused distant and scared and for the first time this amazing lady who was always ready to put her arm and support around others and take the pain in their place needed an arm around her and I  tried the best I could ,but it was to hard to often ,but as I sit here tonight looking back at a 5 year journey and the bigger story of life there are two things that stand out ,even at the lowest points even when the full force of dementia was taking its toll even against all odds my mum was still caring for me .On paper I was her carer and mum needed much care towards then end ,but she was always caring for me and over the last years it was just mum and me struggling to get through each day ,and mum was my best pal and support

But the other thing that really stands as I sit here alone at home tonight is How I wish you where here mum, How I wish you where here

Tommy

Today meeting C, A, B then meeting lecturers Cardonald College

 Hi

This morning I have a meeting with Alana from Citizens advice to chat about the possibilities of working together with dementia carer voices, We have only had a brief discussion to date so looking forward to the meeting tomorrow to see where we go

In the afternoon I will be popping into Cardonald College to meet with one of the lectures to arrange and confirm some talks to the students who attend and study social care and sciences

Tommy

Thank you, inspired by students Caledonian university 3rd mental health

Thank you, inspired by students Caledonian university 3^rd mental health

 A big thank you, to all the 3^rd year mental health students from, Caledonian University. I was a guest speaker there a few days ago and I am grateful and inspired by the kind messages I have received from some of the students who attended .My talks is about my wee mum and the letters I receive So on behalf of the families who have shared their life stories, thank you and I wish you the best in your own journey ahead working in Mental health

Tommy