My mum ,I miss you so ....

I just miss my mum so much .I have been pottering around the house all morning as I do most weekends and evenings and ther is a feeling of great emptiness in this house and in my heart 

I don't miss dementia - dementia does not define my mum.My mum was magnificent kind and caring but there is no escape from all dementia brought to mums life and mine as a son to witness 

I miss both mum and Dad  ,over twenty years ago I started a life touring the world and making great times and great mistakes and even from a distance shared the great times with my parents.I am absolutely greatful for the support,advice and help they gave to the msitakes and struggles I personally faced along the way. I was a lucky boy to have such parents 

Never imagining that 20 years later my mum would be diagnosed with dementia and I would become  a carer.Now there is a description that's sits slightly uneasy .people keep saying " you cared for your mum " that is only half the story .even with all mum faced she always cared for her son.on the days we where both struggling on the days I was falli apart .on my knees and broken,this wonderful mum could make it all better with a squeeze of my hand or the love from her eyes 

That's what mums and dads do no matter what they face they make it better for their children ,no mater how young or old their children are ,no matter how far or close they May be 

And I miss that so much.I miss the support ,kindness that squeeze of the hand the love and care in mums eyes 

You took much away dementia but never the love and care a mother had for her children and for all she met and knew 

I just  miss you mum 

Tommy