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Friday, 27 June 2014

From crowded rooms to this empty house I call my home

The last months ,year  have been the busiest times in so many ways 
I think last year I spoke at 80 events and this year  will reach over 100 ,in fact I have been a guest speaker at 30 events - talks so far this year 

This is one side of the project the other is meetings and working with the team on ideas and reports  
It has been a hectic time and I am grateful for the opportunities to raise awareness as this in my passion and to be honest I have not had much time to think between talks and travelling 

I returned home late night from Middlesbrough  and as I walked down the street once again  looking at the house in darkness ,emotions as they do sometimes  hit quite hard 

I sat in the  darkened sitting room  and it all got a bit much almost not wanting to walk up the stairs to pass the empty room that mum was confined to over the last months .And I just miss her

My wee ,mum in amongst our struggles and over the last 5 years was also (with dad ) my best  pal I have spent the last weeks months years  in crowded rooms speaking at events in many ways papering over the cracks of a broken heart  and my heart IS broken 

We struggled and suffered great great loneliness over the last 5 years but I was never truly lonely not with my wee mum by  my side 

Today  I feel lonely and so sad inside for a mum who deserved much better thank she got and  to often I was able to give

I struggle sometimes coming home from crowded rooms to this empty house ,this empty heart  and I miss my wee mum who no matter what she faced made sure her big boy was ok

Tommy
For mum 
#Mothersday


3 comments:

  1. Hi Tommy
    Thank you so much for allowing us into your life on Friday. It was very hard listening to your story, of your problems etc. But in many ways it was vastly different to many stories we have heard from other carers in the past. This was a very emotional and passionate story which hit hard, and I did not see anyone from where I was sat that did not have tears in their eyes. If anyone can raise awareness of this illness dementia you can do it. You are a true ambassador to this illness and all carers

    Ken

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  2. Thank you for your brilliant blog and for being so much of an ambassador in Dementia and a good friend. You should get an award for all the hard work you have done in raising awareness, especially after Friday

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  3. I heard you speak in Middlesbrough and honestly it was easily one of the most inspiring things I have ever witnessed. Keep doing what you are doing.... and thank you :-)

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