From crowded rooms to this empty house I call my home

The last months ,year  have been the busiest times in so many ways 

I think last year I spoke at 80 events and this year  will reach over 100 ,in fact I have been a guest speaker at 30 events - talks so far this year 

This is one side of the project the other is meetings and working with the team on ideas and reports  

It has been a hectic time and I am grateful for the opportunities to raise awareness as this in my passion and to be honest I have not had much time to think between talks and travelling 

I returned home late night from Middlesbrough  and as I walked down the street once again  looking at the house in darkness ,emotions as they do sometimes  hit quite hard 

I sat in the  darkened sitting room  and it all got a bit much almost not wanting to walk up the stairs to pass the empty room that mum was confined to over the last months .And I just miss her

My wee ,mum in amongst our struggles and over the last 5 years was also (with dad ) my best  pal I have spent the last weeks months years  in crowded rooms speaking at events in many ways papering over the cracks of a broken heart  and my heart IS broken 

We struggled and suffered great great loneliness over the last 5 years but I was never truly lonely not with my wee mum by  my side 

Today  I feel lonely and so sad inside for a mum who deserved much better thank she got and  to often I was able to give

I struggle sometimes coming home from crowded rooms to this empty house ,this empty heart  and I miss my wee mum who no matter what she faced made sure her big boy was ok

Tommy

For mum 

#Mothersday