Sunday, 1 March 2015

Dementia the ForEver moments

I cared for my beautiful kind mum at home from 2007 till mum passed away September 2012. My heart, a heart that smiled so often whilst caring was broken long before mum passed away.

My mum could do that no matter what she faced. Facing much greater challenges than I was, she could always make my heart smile. That's what mums and dads do; they make it better for their children no matter what, no matter how young or old their children are.

Over the years, dementia kept changing everything. Just when we thought we had a routine, we had understanding, we had a way to make the best of each day, dementia would change everything.

Everything we thought we knew the day before had shifted. We would wake up and everything we knew before had changed. We had to rethink sometimes, re-smile, but most often struggle to get through the day. 

And it was always forever, the changes where always forever. I knew they were forever, I had witnessed forever happening so many times before.

From mum knowing who she was to not, to recognising her life, her home. All the little things we do for ourselves every day becoming the most impossible task, to not recognising or the remembering the man she met and fell in love with one day. The man who loved mum with all his heart. 

The cruellest trick of all, the love story of your life taken away.

And for me the big question is:

What are going to do to make forevers better for people living with dementia, for the families, for Carers?

It always felt like a surprise so often to people when forevers came along, when we contacted them when we needed more help, support, understanding, guidance, chance, opportunities, kindness, dignity, respect.

It was never a surprise to me, I witnessed forevers so often.

If we are truly going to support families, be there for the forevers, as forevers can truly break your heart.

Thanks for reading my blog, you can now watch my short films by searching 'My mums name was Joan' on this blog
DCV photo DementiaCarerRGBlandscape3_zpsa2f3d5ff.jpg

1 comment:

  1. :-( am living this now and I know it will be forever.


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