Thursday, 9 May 2013

How I wish you were here mum

How I wish you were here mum

As a young lad one day I grew up and left home to explore the world, a home with great parents, memories and support.  When that day comes the kindness and support from your parents is the building block to all that lies ahead and I travelled pretty much 10 months of the year with my work.  I always kept in touch hardly a day went by without a call even the briefest of call to make sure all was ok at home and sometimes maybe more than I care to remember for support and to take away the loneliness travelling can bring.

I was lucky I had good relationships with both my parents.  Who were hard working kind, honest, decent and who gave all to their children?  Then one day you come home to visit mum, who by this time was on her own as dad had passed away a few years before and everything had changed, my hard working wee mum was in the beginnings of Dementia.  Confused, distant and scared and for the first time this amazing lady who was always ready to put her arm around to support others and take the pain in their place needed an arm around her.

I tried the best I could but it was too hard too often and as I sit here tonight looking back at a 5 year journey and the bigger story of life there are two things that stand out.  Even at the lowest points even when the full force of dementia was taking its toll even against all odds my mum was still caring for me.  On paper I was her Carer and mum needed much care towards then end, but she was always caring for me and over the last years it was just mum and me struggling to get through each day and mum was my best pal and support.

But the other thing that really stands as I sit here alone at home tonight is how I wish you were here mum, how I wish you were here.
 how I wish you where both here


1 comment:

  1. Hi Tommy
    its amazing how we all enjoy having our Mother around and yet when she has gone we all struggle.
    I suppose the mother was always the stabilising power and always knew what was right from wrong yet we did not always appreciate it at the time, especially when we were younger.
    My own mother died in 2003, and there are times when I just want to talk to for her advice, and I suppose it will never change


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