Wednesday, 22 May 2013

For the love of mum -8 months ago today my mum Joan Whitelaw Passed away

Today will be 8 months since mum passed away and in many ways the prison sentence we felt towards the end continues, but now it continues alone.  We became prisoners of Dementia in our home, were we were isolated from society in many ways.

Some people say time is a great healer; I just don't believe them I really don't.  Time just gives me too much time to think, I try to keep as busy as I can increasing my awareness work started, which from this house whilst caring for mum.  But that's where it stops every other hour is a return to isolation and it’s hard to break that and that's what we faced, how we lived for many years

My social skills seem non-existent and I can stand in a crowded room and speak from my heart about the greatness of my mum, the challenges we faced, the joy in her smile, the pain in my heart, the strength mum gave me and the helplessness I felt I don't seem to know anything else.

As hard it was my wee mum always made it better, that's the greatness of mums they make sure their children are OK and even if they are no longer children and supposed adults like me.  That's what I miss, her friendship, smile, kindness, strength and love.  I most certainly do not miss Dementia not the last years, no not this son.

I miss her love as she became my best wee pal even though I used to have so many, as mum did also.  But Dementia, loneliness and isolation took their place.  I suppose I just might be feeling sorry for myself tonight in this house that no longer feels like a home, but I will get up tomorrow to keep my promise to my mum to raise awareness a promise for the love of mum.


1 comment:

  1. AnonymousMay 18, 2013

    Hey every day is tough,but think of her in the good times when she was young and full of life, I think of my dad like that, not as he was when he had Alzheimer's he loved life and was a great dad. One thing that used to surprise me was when ever he was at his worst he would look at me any ask why did he have to get this, it was like someone inside trying hard to fight something that was taking over their mind Take care K.


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