Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Get by with a little help from our friends

Looking back , its more painful sometimes with time on my hands .when caring for  my mum our objective each day seemed to be let’s get through today, so we can make it through tomorrow. That in itself is wrong and adds to all that dementia can bring I don’t for a second believe this is unique to dementia ,on reading the letters I receive this applies to so many people with so many long term conditions but looking back why does a diagnosis of dementia change friendships ,why does the phone stop ringing and the door stop knocking .This incredible ,magnificent  mum of mine who gave so much to so many .where did they all go. This does mean I don’t understand .I was fearfully .I was protective, I played my own small part in bringing  loneliness. This saddens me and I hope we can change this for others ,the only way we can do this is by taking  and raising the discussion and understanding on dementia and caring to the widest of audience across society .until we do .families will suffer through a lack of understanding ,loneliness ,isolation and more .we as a society can change this .we can help and support others and give friendship that stays no matter what we face .we can get by with some help and understanding from our friends 

My mum was viewed to often as just a wee woman with dementia devalued in many ways forgotten by so many .we cant at this time  cure dementia and the process of taking away the memory my mum had was cruel ,but we can cure understanding .why do so many people  forget so quickly .a lack of understanding from within and towards us played its part in holding us back 

My mother’s name was Joan Whitelaw ,she was magnificent ,kind caring ,beautiful on both the inside and out ,she was in life a daughter ,sister ,wife ,the kindest of mothers ,  grandmother  ,cousin ,aunt ,friend  ,workmate valued me member of her community but never just a wee woman with dementia  not in this sons eyes or heart

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