Thursday, 1 August 2013

How do you mend a broken heart…Dementia, my mum and me.


Dementia alone will eventually break your heart; it most certainly has broken mine.  I have had my heart broken before, but not like this.  My kind caring wee mum whose ability to care for everyone she met was an inspiration, no one deserves this cruel illness.

My heart was not broken only since mum passed away but had been for long time and no matter what dementia threw at my mum or how many tears I cried as her son, it felt to hard. My mum was facing so much more than me, she could make it better with a smile, a stroke of the hand and the greatest of all a smile from her eyes as if to say you are doing ok son.

Sitting here today with more time to think than I had before just confirms that we were never really ok; we were stumbling and falling together. People say “oh you cared for your mum” but that is only half of it mum was still caring for her son, you see that’s what she done she gave all she met the best, looking for nothing in return.  My mum’s journey with this illness is over but I am left with a heart that is so sad inside.

My wee mum like so many others deserved a bit better and better more than I was able to give.  So I will take a leaf from my mums book and answer the question I asked at the top of this page how do you mend a broken heart? All who are facing this illness or in the future I hope will be treated with understanding, kindness, dignity, respect and given the best of help and advice.  I hope anyone who ever needs help asks as quickly as possible and if the person they meet at home, residential care or in a hospital has even just a hundredth of the kindness like my mum.  If so they will be in very safe hands as I was all my life and even Dementia could not take that away.



  1. So inspiring Tommy, your mum will be very proud of you and all the amazing work you are doing to raise awareness and support for such a terrible illness! I hope your work continues to help you with your grief, good luck!

  2. Sue BrookeApril 18, 2013

    Your mum will always be your mum Tommy, just as you were always her boy. The more you remember her the closer she will be.

  3. Saw you speak at the Chester October WMH day conference organised by our Julie. Great talk, great campaign, admirable humanity. It's true, all we really do actually need, is love.


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