Saturday, 15 December 2012

Had a tough day missing my wee mum

It’s been a tough day missing my wee mum  
I woke up about 4am this morning and my head was full of memories of my wee mum, it’s almost a torture of my heart and soul. I was out yesterday as I most weeks attending and speaking at an event about caring for my mum ,the life stories and my wee campaign ,and I am ok doing that and its when I feel my strongest as its is the most important part of my life ,but there is no escaping at home how much I miss my mum ,her smile ,her courage ,her all .5 years witnessing this amazing wee woman being challenged by this cruel illness is hard to escape from my mind ,a journey we faced alone to often and that theme continues this door has not been knocked more than twice since mum passed away this phone never rings a continuation of  how it was for the last years of my mums journey and life ,and I thought we where lonely before but that was a rehearsal for now ,as lonely as we where my mum was here and there is no denying she needed much care but she also cared for me .the truth is I have cried at some point each night since mum passed away and many nights when mum was here as I struggled to witness the pain in front of me .Today the tears don’t want to stop no matter how I try ,and that is really the basis of this campaign a better journey for all ,better memoires for all and more smiles comfort and joy for all .Things may change for me in time but the tears out weigh the smiles and the pain lasts longer than the joy and the memoires of a mums journey and struggle out weighs the  memoires of the greatness of her life at this moment ,Maybe that’s why I cry as that’s unfair in itself for a woman who brought so much love care and kindness to life and all she met and the struggle is always at the forefront of my mind
I just miss my wee mum

1 comment:

  1. What a wonderful blog and well worth reading


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