Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Recovery, Im not so sure …………………….

Recovery, Im not so sure …………………….

This conversation about recovery comes up often and I for one, well I am not so sure .Sometimes it feels like the impossible task .I spend much of my time raising awareness and that includes much public speaking and I keep to the promise I made to my mum that I would be honest and share her greatness, our struggles our good days, our bad days,this journey dementia brought to our door.     Much like when my wee mum was here no matter how hard things got completely falling apart  was not an option ,no matter how close we got .My mum got us through that ,through the loneliness the hard days ,she could do that with a smile or a squeeze of the hand and I could do with that tonight ,I could do with that smile ,that greatness and as a son described as a carer when really mum was still caring for her boy .much like my mum had no chance of recovery from dementia, sometimes I feel I will never recover from this pain in my heart of missing my best wee pal. But like I could not fall apart when caring for mum I will have good wee cry tonight and get up tomorrow and take this wee campaign forward in the hope no one ever feels like I did to often, as lonely we felt so often and understand more than we did so often
if we get the understanding right ,if we get the journey right ,if we give peolpe the best of chance then we allow thewm to live love and cherish ,
Recovery, we will think about that another day I miss my wee pal to much tonight to think about anything else
Tommy

1 comment:

  1. Oh Tommy, (I started a comment and then it disappeared...no good at technology! but didnt want to not say it now, so this may be a repeat!) I KNOW exactly what you're feeling like...I thought I could sympathise/empathise when I heard of friends who'd lost a parent, but oh NO! I realise now that was some kind of intellectual sympathy, one never knew the gut-wrenching, despairing, appalling pain and the sobbing that wells up, sometimes out of nowhere, especially if one feels that one didnt manage the last days/hours well...the horror that one should've done better and that one never can....and HOW one misses them, as you say, their smile,remembering all they'd done throughout our lives, those wee things they'd do that helped make these difficult days bearable or help one to carry on. It's hell to feel all this but it's grief, it is what all go through. I read a bit on a website of, I think, one of the funeral directors I was looking through and it described the stages of grief and, yes, I was going-had gone through those and more to come...it kind of made it a bit better that, tho' how personal this feels, it is also part of a pattern of being human....Well just thought I'd quickly jot that down...Hope that might help anyway...
    M-AC in Methven

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