Hi
This campaign is based on the life stories thoughts
and opinions of people and there are a few reasons why I both collect and
believe in them, the stories collected to date have been part in much awareness
dialogue with Government Local authorities including motions at councils and
report by SW departments, They have been the heart and soul of many talks
across the care sector ,Universities colleges ,carer centers and beyond I am
now working on an Academic paper and a new carer engagement film ,All if which
I feel are important and in their own small way helping raise both awareness
and understanding .all the afore mentioned are based on our live in our words.
More importantly I collect life stories because our lives matter .My mum like
to many others was to often was viewed upon as just a wee woman with dementia
and all that had gone before forgotten or ignored the greatness of her life
given to little value ,time or discussion and that fills me with great sadness
.If we use only the journey of dementia as a starting point ,then how can we
truly help or understand the best way to interact ,encourage and allow people
the respect dignity and time they deserve .so life stories I HOPE help
tell the whole story and help show the impact dementia has on many
people lives .if we understand the impact then we understand best how to limit
it and give families the best support to love ,cherish and succeed
A letter changed my life
My personal reason for collecting letters and life
stories is the fact a letter changed my life .Before coming back to Glasgow to
visit my mum a visit that ended with my mums diagnosis of dementia and the
beginning of a five year struggle to understand and cope .My then long term
girlfriend and I had Just split up in fact I was coming home for mum to put her
arms round me as she had done so many time before and made things betters .For
the first time I had to truly put my arms round mum as she was in more need of
help and support than I was .Both my girlfriend and I traveled constantly with
our work and for the last years together and in so many ways my girlfriend
tried to tell / discuss with me how things had to change ,how we were getting
older ,how we never spent time together, along with settling down and children.
The more she tried to discuss lour future the less I heard .the more she
shouted ,whispered even in the most intimate of discussions the less I heard I
always seemed to avoid a discussion after all I was happy I was traveling
,having a great time and always used the same avoidance I am just home or I
when I get home in 3 months we will fix things .I got away with this for too
long .On my last journey away ,I was going to America for 3 months I opened my
suitcase on arrival and inside founds a letter ,a letter that broke my heart but
a letter that showed the impact my actions ,my inability to listen ,me
selfishness and many other actions where having on someone’s life. Someone I
loved, someone who gave me so many chances and tried in so many others ways to
ask me to just listen or try and understand and on reading that letter I
understood more about myself than I have had before and she was right I was
affecting and holding back her chance to live the best she could
So a Letter changed my life, that’s my personal
reason for believing in and collecting them I hope to take them to all who need
to read them to try and help them understand how the actions of others can have
such and impact on lives and the actions of others can also change
lives for the better and to truly help someone you have to take time to listen
and understand them
You can share your story at tommy@i-woz-there.com
Dementia Carers Voices
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