Sunday, 3 February 2013

Caring--For the love of mum

Caring, for the love of mum  

I just happen to have a radio interview on BBC radio Scotland recorded two weeks after mum passed away and in this interview I kept the promise I made to mum to always be honest when speaking about my mum or myself as her son and carer .I would also like to thank from my heart the families who agreed to read some of the letters sent to my campaign .MY mum was kindest most caring person you could ever meet, Mums ability to care for and about all she met was inspiring. I just loved my wee mum and dad,I WAS A LUCKY  BOY to have such parents .But the challenges we faced over my mums journey with dementia pushed us both to breaking point to often .I mean after all I was just trying to care for mum .As dementia took its toll along  this  ever winding road ,we where both falling apart together why should this be .,A lot of it came from a lack of understanding from within and towards us. Although at the beginning we suffered from a lack of advice and guidance I also waited to long to ask for help it got to the point it was a cry for help. I look back now and wish I had asked for help sooner but then who should I ask ,I was  lost in a fog of fear ,heartbreak and isolation ,we both where and looking back as I type this I feel sad that in trying to care for mum I let her down to often and we where let down to often and that is the basis of this campaign ,that we should know how and who to ask for help and guidance and that help should be available and easy to access and anyone who is giving that help should truly understand the journey caring and dementia brings
Don’t wait like me till your heart is broken to ask for help ,when I look back what would have made the biggest difference what would have given mum the best of chance, one word UNDERSTANDING .understanding from me from others would have helped make each day the best it could be
We care because we love .As a society it our duty, we are capable of keeping lives closer to love stories and less of a tragedy .Our flirted with tragedy to often
For the love of mum

I cared for mum for 5 years I should really be looking back and saying we done ok mum but I REALLY dont I look back and think mum why was was it so hard why did so few understand

this will never change until we disuss dementia  and caring opely and honestly .we are not statisitcs we are husbands wives sons and daughters familes and friends .lets allow the love stories to continue ,dementia should not be allowed to affrect the the life story as much as does to so may and as did life we led

tommy

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