Saturday, 30 June 2012

Discussing end of life care with my mums CPN earlier today, this house feels like the loneliest place in the world tonight

Hi
Well its nearly 1am, and I cant sleep, I don’t sleep much lately I have my mum to check on through the night, but I cant sleep tonight ,my wee mum was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia 5 years ago this august  and this illness has thrown everything it has at her ,my wee mum has been through so much and each time its takes another affect on her mind and body we fall apart, then pick ourselves up best we can  and try to adjust to the next stage of this jounrey.My mum is so weak just now and has been for quite a whiles. As a son caring for his mum I have witnessed this journey and all that it brings and without any one saying I know where we are just now.One more dip like the dips we have faced 3 or 4 times a year since this illness came into my mums life will be near as much as my mum can take.Sitting tonight after a visit from my mums CPN trying to face the reality of where we will be when that comes is a dreadful conversation but an honest one .We as with so many others  who face this illness or care for a loved one are aware this conversation will come one day and face many struggles and too much loneliness and isolation along the way
Sitting in my room just now feels like the loneliest place in the world tonight I cant imagine a lonelier place, I hope there isn’t anyone feeling lonelier than this tonight as it’s a terrible place to be
Tommy

2 comments:

  1. tommy u are not alone, we are with at this time, try thinking on the happy times u have had together,both of you listen to music watch a fav film together , that i what did with my father. god bless tommy
    take care
    tricia

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 01, 2012

    Hi Tommy never usually up as late as this but i just caught up with your blog. I am so sorry that your mum is not too well. This is a very difficult time for you right now but you know what, you will see this through to its natural progression cause you love and care for your mother.No one can ever take that away from you.My thoughts and prayers go out to you both. Take care Lornax

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