Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Busy day,yesterday but home again to emptiness and despair

A Busy day, but home again to emptiness and despair
Today was another busy trying to build on the awareness campaign I started with my mum by my side ,for the last year I have been out during the 15 hours cover /respite I had each week doing talks and collecting life stories .Each time before  I left I made sire my mum was settled and Ok  and always had my wee mum who was the biggest part of my story and campaign to come home to and tell about what hat happened each day and how proud I was to talk about her life ,before and including her struggle with Dementia ,Today I was up early and off to take part in a project at my local carer center as a son and carer at 8am ,I then pooped into the PRTFC  Glasgow office to update and discuss my future plans ,I then headed of to Caledonian University to discuss some ideas and future projects we are working on and some that I can be part of as A son and Carer I then met with Lisa from East Renfrewshire to chat about me being a guest speaker at the carer group on Nov 30th and the day disappeared along a feeling that I am keeping our campaign  growing and alive ,but as I walk down our street and approach the house as Ii have always done I look up to my mums room in darkens ,in fact a house in darkens and all that I have tried to do day is replaced by a darkness emptiness in my heart that my mum is no longer here and I have yet to walk thought this door without crying ,I go out and raise awarerness with pride but return home with sadness, and the truth is I don’t know if I will ever walk towards this house again without looking up at my wee mums room or feeling sad and tearful as I open the door ,but then A mum like mine is worth crying for and a mum like mine will always be missed and a mum like mine can never replaced .how lucky I was to have a mum like mine

Tommy  

2 comments:

  1. Dear Tommy,

    There are no words to take away the shadow of darkness you are feeling right now. My much loved dad died 3 years ago this week, so I have some understanding of the loss you feel. Hopefully, soon the pain will ease and remembering your mums smile and how much you love her will again make your heart soar rather than ache. Do keep tweeting, I love to hear about your campaign and the legacy you have created in your mum's name. Big virtual hug, Donna

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  2. Everyday NowNovember 02, 2012

    Hi Tommy. I also like reading your updates and hearing of all your progress, thank you for sharing your sad moments too, I wonder if you would consider putting your name down for bereavement counselling with CRUSE. this is a free service and many people find it of benefit. It can be a long waiting list. Therefore, it is advisable to put your name down now, rather than wait another 6 months when you MAY feel even more of need, and then have to wait even longer. I know this because a friend of mine had to wait 10 months. But she felt it was of great help to her, even though she was very sceptical at the start. Some GPs have their own Counsellor they can refer patients to. take care http://www.crusescotland.org.uk/Support/Central.html

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