Friday, 7 September 2012

Long day, today ,will be a longer night at home alone

My wee mum was admitted to hospital earlier today. after her seizure a month ago and week in hospital she was going ever so well for the first  week back home much brighter and more aware than she had been for a while .the last three weeks have been a steady decline and after the doctor being out a couple days ago and twice today we agreed that my mum had to go back in to hospital. my mum is having trouble eating and drinking and was dehydrated and looks like she will need a wee blood transfusion and we will be looking at her ability to swallow  and a few other things. we are at the saddest part of this journey ,the realty is this is end of life or as near to end of life care for my mum.Now what that means we cant quite say .when my late dad was told he had cancer 10 years ago we where told he had 9 months to live and they where nearly correct to the day ,but this is different, dementia will determine much of this along with other health matters connected or not.At the back of my mind as I witness my mums struggle I try in some ways to prepare for the worst .but I have learnt from the shock of the seizure a month back and once again sitting here at home alone I am in no way prepared,our strong bond as a mother and son has become so much stronger over the last 5 years and the more my mum needs me it turns out the more I need her .I feel that sitting here tonight missing her but knowing I will see her tomorrow and will get her home soon I don’t know how I will cope or feel when dementia finally takes it toll on her body and mind.Today was a long day and Tonight will be a long night


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