Friday, 16 November 2012

Caring for mum,felt like the impossible Jig saw to hard to piece together

Caring for my mum, the impossible Jig saw to hard to piece together

Looking back, that fills so much of my time at the moment ,any moments of nothingness turn to looking back and I know its still raw with my mum passing away 8 weeks ago but I am trying to figure it all out ,there was no time to figure it out while caring for mum ,it was an emotional rollercoaster and to hard to often I hope the good days ,the joy and the happy days become more prominent but not at the moment I am left with to many what ifs ,and a deep sadness that I / we could have done so much better ,that’s not how I wanted to feel looking back this jig saw of understanding has to be better the Jig saw of people involved in mums care ,the one who understood ,the ones who added value the pieced together so easily and beautify ,the ones who had no time or true understanding of all we faced ,the pieces did not fit I am left with the pieces that clicked together forming a half finished Journey and memory .A journey that I can see how it should have been and looked but marred the pieces the did not fit and I am included some days it got to much and my piece did not fit .So I feel left with a broken picture just like my broken heart
That’s why we have to celebrate the people who understand, who add value and help so we can all be part of a fuller, clearer picture and encourage educate and inspire the pieces that don’t quite fit ,so they can be part of the journey from beginning to end and a picture closer to seeing than the jig saw in my mind

the pieces are there ,just some of them did not fit !

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