Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Strength,-Weaknes- Delight-Despair the rollercoaster

Strength, Weakness, delight and despair the rollercoaster goes on
And so it continues the emotional rollercoaster that’s what 5 years caring for my we mum was and in many ways how inside my heart and head I have felt since mum passed away 8 weeks ago Strength every in ounce of our strength was challenged and to often we where not strong enough weakness on the days it all became to much my weakness was to obvious and the frailty in my mum so apparent over the last months delight the delight that a smile or stroke of my hand or face my mum would give even on the toughest of days ,despair the despair on the hardest days or weeks or months ,the feeling of helplessness as I lay in bed crying myself to sleep as my mums life became affected in every single way especially over the last months this is an over view ,the whole story would take to long to tell ,but those words have continued to define my life Strength I feel an inner strength when I raise awareness and speak about my mum ,dementia and the journey we faced weakness when at home and the loneliness and missing my mum takes hold and the tears flow delight , the delight in my heart for the love and kindness my mum gave to me and all she met Despair walking home to the house this afternoon and opening the front door today to a  lonely house that’s has lost it soul and heartbeat and the struggle and realization that my mum is no longer here
But delight and joy that I was so lucky to be Joan whitelaw son, time will define and decide different memories,at the moment those 4 words tell the story today

Tommy


 

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