Sunday, 20 January 2013

Loneliness & isolation played such big part in mums journey and is mentioned in nearly every letter I receive

Hi
Dementia alone bring enough to the table ,A journey without the best of help ,understanding advice ,friendship and opportunities is I feel an impossible task .Firstly we should be allowing all the chance to live ,live and cherish every moment they can ,For mum and I and too many others its not like that .A big part of this come down to understanding from within and the understanding of family friends and people who become involved in our care I am grateful for people who understood the challenges we faced ,we needed them and more like them should be encouraged the ones who added no value only increased or anxiety loneliness and voice we cant at this time cure dementia that is the challenge for researchers across the world ,but why did we like so many others become so lonely and isolated we can cure that surely My mum never deserved to be lonely she was to kind and caring to others for this to happen ,the poem stopped ringing ,the door stopped knocking and the chances to have a better chance decreased I remember one night popping my head into mums room to check she was ok ,it was a Saturday night and I could hear the sound of a taxi and people coming home from a good night out I could hear the laughter and the joy ,but that was missing from our life and house ,for the previous 3 years I had only left our house at night 9 times and those where to do talks and I had switched  my respite hours from day to night to attend and I cried myself to sleep that night as I had done on so many occasions before as loneliness was affecting part of my heart and soul
How could this mum who cared for so many and even a son who had many friends be left so alone and lost .why do so many people who share their stories face loneliness isolation and a lack of  understanding surely as a society we can change this .we cant alone wait for or rely on a cure we have to build in a process for this journey and all journeys that involve long time care that’s takes these things away .I sit today lonely recovering from a struggle to hard missing my mum who was also my best friend in many ways angry at dementia but just as angry at the things we can cure It does not take strategies or policies to cure much of this ,It takes understanding ,kindness and never for getting the person ,the life they led the life should still be allowed to lead As dementia took away over time all of my mum’s memoires why did others forget as quickly
If we keep dementia as a whisper  if we forget the greatness of people then we leave them no chance ,while the researchers look for a cure we should all be curing the parts we can Loneliness, isolation ,understanding ,respect and dignity you don’t need a researcher for them
Tommy  

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