Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Missing my wee mum ,my friend my best friend

Missing my mum, my friend .my best friend
It’s been a night of looking through old photos .some that made me smile some that made me cry .but every one reminding me of my remarkable wee mum Joan ,my heart was broken in many ways before mum passed away, 5 years caring for mum ,the dynamics of our life and relationship changed often and in many ways as dementia changed the course .I like most sons left home to make my own life many years ago and travelled for many years keeping contact with both mum and dad from a distance but daily .to come home after many years traveling and to mend my own heartbreak after splitting up with my then girlfriend to a mum who was facing changes and facing them quickly changed both our lives .and for we faced we faced together ,you see whatever I faced in life beforehand  my hard working mum and dad always faced it with me ,I was luck that way .they lived for us not for themselves ,but this journey that challenged us both and certainly took me to breaking point also cemented a truth that my mum and dad where also my best friends
And I miss them and I miss my wee mum so baldly tonight that it feels almost impossible to describe for all dementia took or tried to take it could not take that smile ,love or care in my mums eyes and I miss that I miss my mum caring for me .people talk about me being my mums carer ,well that’s only half the story ,its only the last years and even through them we cared for each other so as we start 2013 as we ended 2012 my life will never be the same again the tears may get less ,time might heal much but this world has lost the definition of caring and her name was Joan Whitelaw and my dads name was thomas whitelaw ,HOW LUCKY  I WAS TO BE THEIR SON  

1 comment:

  1. I always used to think, this disease or that were the worst to take us from our families after all we all fear the big C and panic at the first chest pain. I had no idea, never even considered the plight of families effected by dementia.

    Now my Father has dementia and we lose a little of him every day, I have grieved these last few years as the man who was at the centre of my life slowly became robbed of his speech, his motor and reasoning skills. Your efforts are worthwhile and important, the sooner we as a country accept and understand the needs of dementia patients and their carers the better.

    I may at some point send in the journey we are on but for now keep up the good work.


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