they never asked about mums life before dementia

No one ever asked

My wee mum was the kindest most caring person you could ever hope to meet ,her ability to love and care for and about all she met was inspiring .my mums parents passed away when she was very young and my mum was brought up by her big sister Agnes along with her other sister my aunty Blondie ,My Aunty Agnes had a large family of her own but cared for my mum and perhaps this was the building block of my mum ,my mum met my dad one day and there began a love story two people made for each other and that was the start of a new love story my parent love for their children and many others ,my mum like my dad lived for us and many other family members and friends and was always there to help out in way she could .my mum worked hard all her life ,especially over the last ten years my dad was alive as his health stopped him from working and took him away to soon .My mum would go out while as was still at School to work night shift after putting me to bed off she would go and work in the thread mill and be there in the morning to get us up for school 14 long years mum worked her fingers to the bone to give her family the best and had many jobs and was always the hardest most thought of worker in every job she had and when my wee dad passed away 10 years ago my mums heart was broken .I often thought  my mum would die from a broken heart and later as dementia took its cruelest toll I often questioned what was cruller to die of a broken heart or the memory of the man the reason you’re heart was broken to be wiped away .My mum Gave so much to so many people ,she made the little things better and she went without so other could be happy or succeed and I miss her and this is just a brief description of my mum but it highlights one of the biggest issues we faced to often to many people over the last years saw dementia first and not much more ,to many people even with the best intentions involved in this journey  only saw a wee woman with dementia and that’s where we fail  peolpe .My mum was more than that and when  involved in the care of people we only use dementia as the starting point then we deny the life we led and can still lead for as long as possible .The starting point should be the whole life

My mum was kind caring, loving and the best of friend and over the last years too many people missed this because the never asked they just saw dementia and they  missed out as much as we missed them knowing of a remarkable lady who would have given them so much more than they gave her

Tommy